Elsa se pelsjas wat netjies pas

Yo, ons dig Elsa Pelsjas (née De Bruyn) nou al van so 2009 af. Sy’s ’n internet curator OG. Elsa is ’n kopieskrywer in Dubai, voormalig van Kaapstad. Ons deel van haar Twitter-aforismes. Haar Tumblr is ook lekker. Pels-yaaaas!

Guy: Are you nervous?

Me: Yes

Guy: Is this your first time?

Me: No it isn’t. I have been nervous before.

Eyes so blue when it blinks it makes a little jazz sound.

Break me like a glow stick.

EARTH IS TOTALLY OUR SPACESHIP.

REALITY IS A LEASH.

Anxiety: look out

me: for what

Anxiety: look out

me: for what

Anxiety: look out

me: for what

Anxiety: look out

me: for what

Anxiety: look out

I’ve been on so many blind dates I deserve a free dog.

I wanna leave my life to the fullest.

Die pensie van ‘n Caramello Beer. <3

Like it’s definitely Maybelline.

[texts back three years later]

haha lol not much what about you?

I’d say go to hell but I don’t wanna see you again.

No, rules.

I WOULD JUST LIKE TO CONGRATULATE EVERYONE THAT IS NOT ENGAGED!

The best way to a man’s heart is through the fourth and fifth rib.

Dude are you my nose because even though my brain sees it, it still chooses to ignore it.

Me: Nah, not getting my hopes up.

Narrator: Her hopes, were in fact, up.

How much is that doggy-style in the window?

ek was op my gelukkigste op 'n poolnoodle.

All animals were harmed during the making of everything forever.

Personal trainers are really nice if you bring a gun.

I’m a balcony in search of a silk robe.

Stop asking me if I’m ok during sex. I’m not lost at sea.

Just mouthed “I hate you” to actual stairs while going up the escalator next to it.

I’m available by disappointment only.

pro tip: BE CAREFUL WHO YOU VENT TO.

BUT WHAT IF I DON’T WANNA IMAGINE ALL THE PEOPLE, JOHN.

Writing “sorry” at the bottom of your CV.

Stand really close to me in the queue so I know I hate you.

Shout out to that time you confused a lesson for a soulmate.

Shout out to the kid who is doing a math question on a multiple choice test & got an answer that wasn’t even listed as one of the choices.

Silence is golden but this rock I threw at your yapping dog was very very grey.